"Are you folks ever bothered by those telephone solicitors?" asks the performer. "Last week a guy called me on the phone and wanted to talk about pre-planning my funeral! I couldn't believe it. I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens," he continues. "Well, I made a grave mistake and let the guy make an appointment with me. He came out to my house and had the whole program 'laid out'."

With that, the performer displays a large (25" wide by 38" tall) sheet depicting an embossed casket with an Austrian carved canopy and French velvet drapes and continues, "This guy said, 'Look, we can give you this beautiful casket for only $190,000.' That's really more than I can afford, I said." and with that he folds the top section of the sheet down, eliminating the carved canopy on top.

"He continued, 'No problem, we can eliminate the Austrian canopy and give you these beautiful French